I know it does me no good
to keep thinking of the past
3 more months to go
then it'll be 1 year already
I was really trying very hard
to move on
I believe a little concern from you
even as normal friends
would help me get over it faster
because if I could still see
the good side of yours
I could find a reason to forgive
But because you didn't
not at all
I kept struggling to forgive you
by not looking at the bad side of yours
I guess our relationship wouldn't
end up so badly
if you ever put some effort
to make it right
I understand that
you think it's inconvenient
for you to talk to me first
as you have a girlfriend
The funny thing is
when we were together
it never crossed your mind
that you should keep a distance
from other girls
and yet you're applying this on me now
Good thing is
now you know the importance
of keeping that distance
though I'm sure I won't cross that line
even if we do talk
Bad thing is
I'm the one to bear with all this
You said time will tell
who's wrong and who's right
Did the answer come out now?
I don't know
When we were together
I don't think I made any big mistake
It's just that
afterwards I really do think that
you don't really know me
After we broke up
maybe I was wrong at some point
nasty words or whatever
but at least I'm still fair
to both of us
I judged from what I saw myself
I still don't regret of
returning all the stuff between us
I returned because it hurts too much
to see them
and there's no point that
I still keep them as memories
while the real memories are
fading away over time
They have been forgotten bit by bit
I guess everything between us
will be gone one day
What's left is just the lessons learnt
I wanted to keep that love
even when you're gone
but I found that
the feelings are fading away
and I can't do anything about it
I guess it's because
I'm being hurt too much
that I rather let go of you
I don't know how much have I healed
but I still can't listen to sad songs
it affects me
the tears would well up in my eyes
then I don't know why I still got tears
I thought I have forgotten
most of the memories
maybe your name is a reminder
to the entire sad story
and I'm forced to switch to other songs
but I think nothing else can still
hurt me that much
the interactions of you two on Fb
your profile picture
your relationship status
the introduction of her to your whole family
Well.. what else? Your marriage?
I think I'm mentally prepared this time
I never thought that
I could be this close to your family
But after you have brought her home
I don't wanna step into your house
anymore unless necessary
Reason being I don't wanna be compared
people look at me as your ex
I started to distance myself
from your family
because I kinda realised
it's not really good to
keep this bond
but I have to say that
when you were doing nothing
your family is my pillar of strength
because of them I could move on
I thought I'd still need
a very long time to forgive you
but recently things happened
I got myself into troubles
with some men
who really scared me
then I felt that
you might not be good
on relationships
but at least part of you
is better than those guys
at least you wouldn't treat me so
if we're together
although now we're basically strangers
I don't know how to define
our relationship at this moment
enemy? stranger? friend? godbrother?
In the end,
I think I've forgiven you
because through those guys
I recalled the good side of yours
the pure interaction between us
when we stepped up to
become lovers from friends
which made me believe
you're not that bad
so I think now I'm able to
fulfil what I've said
that I wanna bring you happiness
Obviously I'm not the one
but I give you my forgiveness
and I let go of you
for you to seek your happiness
while I can't give you any
And because of that forgiveness
I think I can still
keep the bond with your family and relatives
because I have taken back all my love from you
I hope you know
it takes a lot to take back
as I did love you with all my heart
I do love them
they're the ones who
keep me going without you
and as promised I'll try my best to help
but I'll make sure this bond
doesn't affect your girlfriend and you
If it does
at most I back off and pull myself
out of that bond
I thank you
for all the good changes
you had brought me
Part of me has changed because of you
Movies, series, MV, English songs, 9Gag, etc
And swimming.. Haven't learnt yet
but I got into trouble because of it
Since you didn't accept Fb friend request
and you didn't reply my CNY msg
I guess we probably
won't ever meet or talk again
I've done enough
to bring us back to
normal friendship
but one hand doesn't clap
if you really choose to be strangers
so be it
It's sad but I'll learn to accept
Maybe I'm still not good enough
to be someone's choice
I'll see what I should change
I'm expressing my feelings
and thoughts about us now
hopefully after this
I can continue moving on
and live my life better
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